My Friend, Vlad

September 4, 2006

My friend, Vlad, has an annoying habit. First, he sneaks into my house and flies around from room to room, making that frenetic flapping noise. I typically assume it's just another everyday, run-of-the-mill, garden variety, gravy-train, meat-and-potatoes rogue bat that found its way into my house. Then he flies into my office or into the living room ~ wherever I happen to be sitting at the time and minding my own business ~ and it will land on whatever high ledge might be in the room. I'll look up at the thing and wonder what's it going to do, when suddenly, like someone unfurling a large black sheet of canvas, the bat expands in an instant and becomes this huge, massive amorphous black shape. Of course, by the time gravity pulls it to the floor and it's standing there a full 6 feet tall in front of me, I realize it's just Vlad, changing into his human form again. But it doesn't matter how often he does that to me. You just never get used to that, you know what I mean?