Pitfalls of Invisibility #18

Pitfalls of Invisibility #18: Eye-hand Coordination

January 16, 2006

Those of you who share the power of invisibility will know exactly what I'm talking about. I really hate it when I reach for my coffee (while in my invisible state) and I misjudge the distance between myself and my cup. There is, of course, one of two scenarios that can happen.

Scenario #1: I do not reach far enough.
This is annoying. I go for the cup handle, fully expecting to feel the solidity of the ceramic and the weight of the cup simultaneously while lifting the cup from the table surface. But instead I feel nothing. My invisible hand, with index finger slightly outstretched, ends up lifting nothing but itself, making a sort of mysterious gesture in the air. And even though no one can see me (because I'm in my invisible state, remember), I still feel stupid. I'm sure I'm blushing, too, but no one can see it. It's just embarrassing. What's (almost) worse, is that I sometimes blurt out an expletive and inadvertently break the 4th Law of Invisibility* (Thou Shalt Not Speak Audibly Whilst In The State Of Invisibility, Lest Thou Shouldest Freak Out Bystanders Who Art Unaware Of Thy Presence). And of course, I can see via my peripheral vision, all these heads simultaneously snap around in my direction. Which makes me want to blurt out again, realizing my faux pas. But I resist, so as not to do any more damage.

Scenario #2: I reach too far.
As you might imagine, this can be disastrous. And, frustratingly, it's usually the result of being in a hurry, needing to get up and do something (invisibly, of course), and merely wanting a quick sip of coffee before proceeding. My hand hits the cup before I expect it to, thereby bumping the cup and causing some coffee to slosh out and onto my desk. So now I've got this mess that needs to be cleaned up immediately. But I'm in a hurry, right? And of course, I can't just grab a paper towel and mop it up, especially if other people are in the room. Which means I usually have to leave the room, find a secluded spot, turn OFF my invisibility, then return and pretend to be surprised at the mess of coffee on my desk.

*Established and drafted in 1601 C.E.