All Tazed and Stuff

November 12 , 2005

ALL TAZED™ AND STUFF

Although I've provided contact information on this website, I should make something clear to those of you who happen to be one of the myriad stalkers I've had to fend off or against whom I have a restraining order: I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to see you. Do you hear me? Stay away. I mean it. Seriously. I mean it. If you come within 50 feet of me, I will Taze™ you. Just like last time. Remember how that felt? You collapsed to the ground like some spasmic convulsing pathetic slug. And I stood there* shaking my head in disgust, saying: "See? I told you I would Taze™ you. But you wouldn't listen. No. You wouldn't stay away. And by not staying away, you were basically begging me to Taze™ you, weren't you? Yes, you were. And there you have it. And there you are. All Tazed™ and stuff." At least that is how I remember it

*My sincere thanks to Stephen D. Long for duly berating me for the egregious grammar sin of putting "their" for "there." In utter abject humiliation, I have corrected the violation, and have repented of my trespass in sackcloth and ashes.